I wanted to respond to the article, "Being Seen". Kitt, thank you so much for this article. I needed more than a few lines to respond. This post encourages anyone who reads it to follow their impulse to reach out to the people around them. You never know how much it will mean when you invite someone into your circle and encourage them to share their gift with others. I felt the need to respond because someone reached out to me when I was hollow and searching for reasons to keep tethered to a normal life. I felt cast aside and worthless. She offered me a hand up from the bottom of all of that despair. And, while I was struggling in the middle of a group of people that I felt did not understand me, this person offered me hope. She invited me into her circle and created a safe place where there is acceptance, not rejection.
I found people who I could trust. I found people who see me. I found a group that understands how I think and what matters to me. These people truly get me.
I have learned to embrace these new friends and sisters and release those who do not see me. I have a purpose in my writing because she saw something in me and believed in me. When I did not believe in myself and others around me did not believe in me, she saw me.
My history with friends and partners was like circles of toxins. I moved from one group to the next with good scattered throughout. My inner circles were never completely clear of toxic people because I did not believe I was worthy.
After I went through some significant losses and worked with a team of smart people who helped me get my life together, I realized I needed to separate myself from the people that did not see me. I have now cleared the circles. My inner circles are toxin-free. And I feel free; I am unbelievably clear and healthy for the first time in my life.
I am certain that these circles will be dynamic and will change as my life moves. Just as a stream, lake, or river would move, people change and move on. But I know how to spot what is good for me now.
Some of those decisions and paths were hard to take. I found singleness can be unique in today's world. But choosing fewer friends, friends who see me was is an uplifting experience. Creating a sisterhood of a few who know my soul and appreciate every part of me is much easier than trying to please many friends who have unrealistic expectations or want me to be like them or the rest of the world.
Each person should be seen for who they are. Each person should have a safe space to discover and to appreciate what is unique about themselves. No one should relegate another person to finding "safety" by becoming what others expect them to be and not who they are.